'My Online Marriage'

While the British Muslim is worrying their pounds away at whatever crises, halt for a moment to consider this: Another online marriage service has been created! (Should we sigh or cheer?) Although in beta mode, none other than the great comic Baba Ali is leading HalfOurDeen.com, an international paid matrimonial service.

This tickles me greatly, and not in the giggly sense. I want a bite of matrimonial bliss too for I suffer deeply from Singlitis. So here I am, registering for the first time on HalfOurDeen.com, I admit with a strong hint of scepticism; I am English after all. The profile details are straightforward, name, age and so on, but ah! a glitch in the location menu asking for a US state regardless of current location. There is no age limit either, 'does that lead to a nice wider potential audience so one could shop around for the right fit?' I muse. Bypassing that, a list of interesting profile questions are given that I assume are vital pointers for the other single gender, wading to find me successfully; I raise an eyebrow. A couple of statements from the questionnaire read:

"Question 3: I would describe myself as a) sensitive b) rational," I click rational. I don't have time for sentimental silliness.

"My ideal match would answer a) sensitive b) rational," here I click sensitive, for an effeminate man that can cry like a little girl is so heart warming.

"Question 8: I would describe myself as more a) sceptical b) hopeful." Sorry but it's scepticism through and through Mr-potential-husband.

"My ideal match would answer a) sceptical b) hopeful." Hmm, a more hopeful reciprocate would balance out the mindset; oh how I long for The Perfect Man. Hmph.

Needless to say masha'Allah (As Allah/God wished it) a planned holistic approach has been taken to the typical criteria of single Muslims by the site but I ask again: Has the SMS 'Single Muslim Scene' hit such a desperate extinction that the masses are rushing to find Half Their Deen online? Do we really need to resort to uploading our personalities on a database to attract like-minded data, to keep in touch with the fast moving society?

Then again maybe my doubts are biased and too early as I sit here waiting for "Mr Zaufishan" to fall for my sketchy profile. It isn't easy after all for a Muslim in the real world to choose a random person as their spouse, based on reviews by others; perhaps this is a supplement to the traditional chaperone/slash/'wali' who ticks off matrimony futures like an ingredients' list.

Also consider this:

1. Are these services good? Do they work? If so how many success stories are there?

2. Do we need them? Why? What happened to leaving it in the hands of some greater being, Allah/God, parents or the local matchmaker. Greater still, why are they so popular?

3. How does it work? Who texts the potential partner first? And how does the concept of 'Hijab' (rules on Muslim modesty) play in it?

Finally, with a pinch of salt: Is the Niqah posted online?

I browse through other online sites, Shadi.com, MuslimMatrimony.com and Niqah.com and frown. I wonder if discounts are available for marrying-one-getting-one-free for a friend?"