Daughters

Zainab is a Guest-Writer on Muslimsinengland.com

Slowly but surely a modest smile appears on my face as I sit and remember having innumerable arguments with my mother regarding how my brother and I were treated so differently. ‘Why is he allowed out after dark and I’m not? Why is he allowed to travel to Italy with his friends and I’m not? Why is he allowed to wear what he wants and I’m not?’ It wasn’t fair. My mother’s vague answers didn’t convince me, but it was not long before I began to appreciate that I wasn’t un-equal, but simply different mentally, physically, hormonally, and definitely emotionally.

Ten months ago Allah (swt) bestowed upon me a beautiful baby girl.

I find that for some reason parents are more concerned about the security of their daughters than they are about their sons. This is not something I totally agree with, but fourteen months ago when my husband and I received the news that we would be having a baby girl, reality struck and even before she was born our nights were spent discussing the dos and don’ts of how we would bring her up. One thing that stuck in our minds was the beautiful hadith where the Prophet (saw) said "Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise)." (Reported by Muslim). However, living in a Western society full of materialism and distraction makes this task a great deal. More difficult for the modern Muslim parent.

So, what next? Now that my daughter was in my arms, her upbringing had begun. How would I live up to this famous hadith? My instinct told me I needed to educate myself and be the best role model for her. I didn’t want to be a Muslim who merely acted out the rituals of Islam; but I wanted to be able to explain to my daughter my Islamic action, referring it back to the time of The Beloved Messenger (saw). I also wanted to relate it to contemporary science and modern theories. In this day and age where showbiz and celebrity glamour are rife, it's paramount that I present myself as an ideal role model, but more importantly it is of higher importance that I introduce to my daughter the unrivalled ideals of some of the greatest role models the world has seen. She should imitate the beautiful character of Sayyidah Fatima (R.A), she should value the exquisite manner of Sayyidah Khadija (RA), and she should admire the righteous demeanour of Sayyidah Aisha (R.A). Only then will she realise that these were the greatest women that ever lived and pursuing their footsteps will grant her success.

In one of my many conversations on this topic, someone mentioned to me something which I'll never forget and that is:
Every parent is obliged to provide their offspring with the best possible upbringing.

However, inevitably it's up to Allah to guide them and Allah will protect those children who have pious parents. Therefore, to an extent, the consequences our children will face are directly related to how pious we are as parents. I realised that although it's important to surround my daughter with Islamic ideals. It's just as important for me to be a pious mother.

As I look over, I see my daughter fast asleep and make a supplication for our mothers to be pious and our children to remain under Allah’s infinite protection.