Are we still at a wedding?
Wedding: A commitment between two people.
But how do we get married nowadays and how does it all seems to look like? One thing is sure. It’s not like we say it will be. How often do we say to ourselves that we will do it by the rules of Islam but we don’t? The wedding of the 21st century is filled with culture and traditions. It has to be big and each family tries to outdo the other. Not to mention how we love to spend all that money……. What do we reach with that? Sharing your joy is beautiful but is it really necessary to spend so much money?
Rasullullah (p.b.u.h) said:
"Allah dislikes three properties: gossiping, begging, and wasting money".
"The person who does something to be heard, Allah let the people hear about him".
I remember the weddings of my brother and sisters. My mother wanted it all great because everyone had to remember it. But on the other hand she doesn’t like to waste money. Do we have a switch up there?
Furthermore, the groom and his family are treated like VIP’s. Do we do this out of respect or is it because we as parents of daughters feel humble? In most weddings you will see that the bride’s family is seated somewhere in the back. Waiting for the groom to come. The women always seem to have the same topics: Clothes, shoes and jewellery. Can’t tell what the men think or talk about. Even when the food is served the groom and his relatives get to go first. Didn’t they came hours after the bride’s family and relatives did? How logical is that? People look at you like: So, you’re from the bride’s side, aren’t you? Does that make them less human beings? Don’t get me started about the weird traditions of returning the groom’s shoe in exchange for money etc. etc.
Here’s the question for the readers of MIE:
What kind of wedding are you planning to have?
However, I think the wedding celebrations should be carried out in a halal way, with some form of segregation.
Also, I think there should be none of this VIP business! We're all equal in the eyes of the most high.
Maybe investing in a good wedding planner may help? (to prevent over spending).
In Islam we only have the concept of Nikaah and Walima. So no Baraat as the Hindus do!
As far as the venue is considered, you can have a nice venue but it has to be priced reasonable. And dont do it to show off, but only use it as a place where dinner is served and the family can get to know each other better!
i think my wedding will be simple.
but i think nowadayz spending money is part of it. almost everything is expensive.
weddings can b very simple.
both families together in his/her house...invite a imam...do the nikkah
and done...
just money spend for your own family.
the most important for me is that allah swt is happy and agrees on my wedding inshallah when it comes.
take care brothers and sisters.
Brother Muavya from Holland.
Condition is that you stay in the boundaries that are set out by Islam.
But at the end of the day, its the choice of the ones that are getting married!
“The marriage which is most greatly blessed is the one which is the lightest in burden [expense]. However, if people are well catered for, without extravagance and show, there is no problem with that either.” (Reported by Bayhaqi)
For sure, marriage an occasion to celebrate, but why waste enormous amounts of money on a celebration? It’s definitely not how our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW) celebrated. In fact, wasting Allah’s bounties is something Allah has warned us against:
“But waste not by excess: for Allah loves not the wasters.” (Quran, 6:141)
It can be difficult to swim against the tide of fancy and extravagant marriages, but surely, it’s worth swimming against the tides that go against Allah’s command and the example set by the Prophet (SAW).
Let’s save all that money and keep it for better uses. That money is sure to be in demand once the honeymoon is over and the actual daily routine sets in.
The Prophet stated: 'the most blessed marriage is one in which the marriage partners place the least burden on each other.' (al-Haythami, Kitab ab-Nikah, 4:255).
“The marriage which is most greatly blessed is the one which is the lightest in burden [expense]. However, if people are well catered for, without extravagance and show, there is no problem with that either.” (Reported by Bayhaqi)
So the LEAST blessed marriage is the one that has the heaviest burden[expense].
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